anyone that knows me well knows that i am super scared of bees and wasps. even though my fear has died down over the years (i think this mostly because the bee/wasp population seems to be lower in alabama than it is in texas so i haven’t had as many terrifying encounters), i am still quite creeped out by these creatures. it’s just something about the sounds they make and the way they move and gyrate. they are just gross and scary.
anytime anything that flies and makes a buzzing sound approaches me i automatically assume it’s a bee/wasp and freak out. i scream and make sounds and flail my arms. sometimes i cry and im pretty sure i’ve punched myself in the face and head before while trying to flee.
here’s the kicker though: i’ve never been stung…ever.
anyway…yesterday was bee/wasp day.
i get home from work and there’s a black wasp with thin yellow horizontal stripes trapped in between our front door and the glass door. obviously the only way it can escape is if i open the glass door. and obviously i don’t want to do this because i assume that right when it does fly out it will fly directly onto me and say thanks by stinging me.
i have groceries in my hands…it’s 95 degrees…my ice cream is melting! so with my body as far away as it can possibly get and my arm stretched to its limits, i open the door. the wasp just buzzes around. it’s not doing what i want it to do! so i close the door because my arm is starting to hurt. i just stand there for a minute staring at the wasp. it stared back at me. gross.
i called casey but he was still at work. i contemplated just sitting in my car with the AC on full blast until he got home. but that would have been lame. so i open the door again. the wasp flies out. i panic and run into the yard. when i turn around i see the wasp on the outside of the door. it is still in between me and my house! still in between my ice cream and the freezer!
so i muster up all my courage. the wasp flies off a little. i make a break for it. the wasp lunges at me. i squeal and retreat. the wasp settles on the door.
the wasp flies off a little. i make another break for it and the wasp returns with vengeance and i once again retreat.
that’s it! i don’t have to take this! i take a deep breath and run towards the door, throw it open, let out a battle cry (i scream like a sissy), fling myself inside, and slam the door.
it was an intense stand-off but i emerged victorious.
later that night we watched 3 tv shows that we needed to catch up on: family guy, sons of tucson, and persons unknown. 2 out of those three shows had to do with bees…swarms of bees.